They Bite

1989 Trio Entertainment 'R'

Dir: Brett Piper
Wr: Brett Piper
Pr: William J. Links
Mus: Stephen Melillo
St: Donna Frotscher, Ron Jeremy, Nick Baldasare, Christina Veronica, Susie Owens, George Mazzone
Gore FX: Brett Piper
Budget: $130,000

As a porno movie crew checks into a beachside motel to film "Invasion of the Fish Fuckers," all hell breaks loose when humanoid sea creatures begin attacking everyone within 50 yards of the ocean. To give you an idea of the quality of the production, Ron Jeremy is literally the best actor and even though its supposed to be a parody of sci-fi/horror films, the guy in a rubber suit gag gets old and it tries too hard by including over-the-top set-pieces like spaceships. But it still offers some good laughs, a lot of skin for you perverts (Susie Owens has appeared in Playboy) and gore and creature effects that are cheesy enough to give Ed Wood a hard-on.

One Liners:

"Hey what this movie needs is a little class! You know, something for the intellectuals... with nice tits!"

- "You got a wine list?"
- "I got it memorized; red and white."

"Fish creature, spaceman, spaceship, brrrrrr, I need a drink."
[Ron Jeremy]

Key Scenes:
-The hyman strikes back when a chick's muff becomes a voracious monster mouth.
-A well executed blood-sucking scene.

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